i just wanna soil my oats bro
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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