So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
