OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
