i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
