I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize