hotel room ftw
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Randomize
