He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
