I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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