No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
