Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
