She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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