he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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