There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
