she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
