Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
