Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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