last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
