Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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