THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
