Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
