names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
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we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
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the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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