Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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