I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
