So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
