I just threw up on my dentist
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
