I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's blow job season.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
