He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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