Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
