Welp...herpes.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
