is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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