If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
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For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
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He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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