Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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