I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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