You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
