when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
