At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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