I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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