Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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