Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
