Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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