U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
