don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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