i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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