Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
