What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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