you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
