Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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