you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
