i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize