his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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