then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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