why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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