I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i believe in u and ur pee
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize