Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
