wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
