What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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