he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
