I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
