I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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