I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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