i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
