I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
