So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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